Why Engage in Marital Sex

1. For procreation.

God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth”. [1] The first instruction God gave to Adam and his help mate after creation is to be fruitful and multiply. God gave the same instruction to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth to Noah and his sons.[2] God’s intention is for Adam to reproduce himself, having been created in God’s image. To achieve this godly purpose, God gave him a helpmate. So, together they can procreate and fill the earth with human beings. Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain.[3] Cain knew his wife and she conceived and bore Enoch and procreation continued. Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. God does not just want us to procreate to fill the earth but to fill the earth with godly men and women. Malachi 2: 15 says:

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Although Adam was created in the image of God, God knew Adam needed to be nurtured into becoming who He intends him to be. In the same way God expects parents to nurture their children into godly children. Nurturing children is by living a life that is worthy of emulation (the Christ-like life); training them in the word of God, appropriate discipline, having a great relationship with their children etc.

• It is obligatory.

For Paul, a man ought not to have a sexual relationship with a woman. However, to avoid sexual immorality, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should give his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise, the wife to her husband. Both owe each other their bodies because the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.[4] Paul went further in verse 5 to advise that a husband and wife should not deprive each other of sex except by mutual consent and for a while so to devote time to prayer and fasting.  The husband and wife should immediately come together again so that Satan will not tempt them.

Paul’s exposition on marital sex in 1Corinthians 7 presupposes that:

1. Sex is generally not necessary but has become needed to avoid sexual immorality
2. If being unmarried will expose you to sexual immorality, then get married.
3. Married couples should not deny each other sex except with consent for a limited time to pray and fast.

It is important to note that although Paul seemed to advocate compulsory sex for a husband and his wife (except by mutual consent for a time to pray and fast), other genuine reasons for abstinence, although with mutual consent, should be permissible. Such reasons may be on health issue(s) that has rendered sexual intercourse impossible. Whatever the reason, though, it is important that there is consensus between the couple that abstinent is pertinent.

• For bonding and fun.

Marital sex provides opportunities for a husband and wife to have fun and bond. It’s a time to explore each other’s body. Exploring each other’s bodies is achieved by employing all the sense organs. The eyes, for instance, will be used in admiring each other. The nose enjoys the freshness of each other’s body. The mouth whispers lovely and romantic words while the ears listen. The body is made available for touch. God intends sex to be sensual, playful and exciting. In the Book of Proverbs,[5] the wise father instructs his son to:

1. Rejoice in the wife of your youth;
2. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe;
3. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
4. Be intoxicated always in her love.

Likewise, in the New Testament, it says: marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.[6] Sex between a husband and a wife is never a cause for shame, it should be honoured, cherished and enjoyed as the gift and the good that it is. It should be a fun and bonding time for them. They should explore each other’s bodies without shame or restrictions.

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[1] Gen 1:27-28.

[2] Gen 9:1.

[3] Gen 4:1.

[4] 1 Cor 7:1–4.

[5] Prov 5:18–19 (KJV).

[6] Hebrews 13:4 (KJV).