The need for spouses to support each other can never be over-emphasized, as being a supportive partner is very essential in marriage. We all need a support system around us, especially in our marriage. No man is an Island. As humans, we need to have confidence that the person we lean on for support is capable of carrying us without any form of criticism. Our spouse is the nearest person you have to share your innermost thought with and you are rest assured that you are supported. We all need shoulders to lean on. No wonder, from the beginning, God created man in His own image and likeness;[1] and summarily,
For His glory:
Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory, Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.[2]
For His pleasure and work:
“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and Honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.[3]
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.[4]
And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.[5]
For fellowship:
For God is faithful through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son Christ Jesus.[6]
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.[7]
After creating man, God knew man needed a help mate. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. A helper is one who assists another in another’s responsibility. Wives are specifically created to be their husbands’ helpers. Proverb 31 narrates how a wife can support her husband. In fact, the Bible calls such a woman a virtuous woman whose price is far above rubies.
A supportive wife reassures the husband that he has a shoulder to always lean on. A supportive wife will always be good to her husband. She never plans evil against him. She is proud of him, honest with him, promotes his work, always shows him in the best light, tells him what inspires him and stays with him through the good and bad times.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.[8] She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.[9]
A supportive wife is not lazy. She is always willing to work and works extremely hard to support her family. She is kind to everyone under her care, including her domestic helps. Wives support by praying for their husbands, ensuring they eat good food, paying some bills etc.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.[10]
A supportive wife is prudent and not wasteful. She is indeed a great planner, strategist and investor.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff… She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant… She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness… Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. [11]
A supportive wife is a giver. She never withholds from the less privileged, and so many feeds from her pot. She shows love to everyone around her, including her in-laws.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.[12]
A supportive wife is respectful. She is not cantankerous or quarrelsome. 1 Peter 3: 6 says Sara obeyed Abraham and calls him lord. Imagine, if you call your husband ‘my hero’, ‘my world’? Nothing will make that husband not strive to be that hero and the like. She forgives easily without keeping score or reminding her spouse of his failings.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.[13]
A supportive wife is patient and positive. She is also decent in her dressing and speech.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.[14]
A supportive wife is loved and praised by her husband and children.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.[15]
Above all, she fears the Lord.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.[16]
Arguably, most women will ordinarily want to support a responsible and supportive husband. Husbands should treat their wives well. The Prophet Malachi warned men to treat their spouses justly and lovingly.
“Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant”.[17] God is the witness to the way husbands and wives treat one another. However, do not forget that many women became the pills their husbands needed to turn to loving, godly and hardworking men. There is a need to always believe that (through the power of the Holy Spirit) no man can come in contact with you and remain the same.
Additionally, it is important to stress here that though it is the divine role and responsibility of wives to be their husbands’ helpmates, spouses must be supportive of each other. In other words, when the two carry out God-given roles, they invariably support one another.
The implication of Genesis 2: 15 and 1 Timothy 5:8 is that the man should work and provide for his family, and where he fails, he is seen as worse than an infidel. However, it is important to emphasize that family financial, emotional and spiritual support should not be provided by one spouse. Rather, it should be shared between the spouses to the extent that the spouse who has more should bear more responsibility. Both must treat each other with kindness and compassion. They need to learn to forgive, as Christ forgives us. This will help them build a beautiful marriage without bitterness, rage, anger, struggle, fighting, slander and malice.[18]
[1] Gen 1: 26.
[2] Isaiah 43:7.
[3] Rev 4:11.
[4] Eph 2: 10.
[5] Gen 2:15.
[6] 1 Cor 1:9.
[7] 2 Cor 13:14.
[8] Prov 31:11.
[9] Prov 31:12.
[10] Prov 31:13- 15.
[11] Prov 31: 16 – 19, 24, 27, 31.
[12] Prov 31: 20- 22.
[13] Prov 31: 24.
[14] Prov 31: 25 & 26.
[15] Prov 31: 28.
[16] Prov 31: 30.
[17] Mal. 2:14.
[18] Col 3:13-14.